#EmbraceYourNakedness – Relationship Tag-lines

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Earlier this week I met a couple for the first time. When they introduced themselves, it quickly dawned on me that what they were saying was more about who they were, together as unit, than as two individuals. Being a champion of Self as you all know, I was immediately taken aback by this. Until I realised that I, too, have been guilty of the same thing. Guilty of labeling my relationship, giving it a tagline, as though the relationship were on display or being published and thus required some kind of explanation, or even defense, against any possible scrutiny.

I once dated a guy (we’ll call him M for reference). Well, M was really sweet, caring, and handsome. An ideal package for just about any woman. M was going to acting school and wanted to pursue that as a career. I had my modeling thing going. We were the perfect couple, Model meets Actor. I could see our future laid out so clearly – but this vision soon became a cancer in our relationship. I branded us, and with labels so expensive, even I couldn’t afford us anymore. 

I demanded that we work to be this “power couple” who were going end world poverty and save all the animals, all the while enjoying, effortlessly, that “model” relationship we all dream about. I thought that was what all couples strove for, and when I realized he wasn’t down, I panicked and ran. Now, I didn’t have a tag-line per se but it was very clear that my vision became a force that drove us apart, instead of drawing us together. I needed for us to be the face of our relationship tagline, so much so that I lost sight of myself, and him, as individuals. I saw us only as a unit, and I figured if he wasn’t committed to saving the world with me, he wasn’t any good. M of course didn’t feel like he fit the script anymore, and it was all my fault. Meanwhile he was perfect (in his own way) before I subjected him to the harsh and unforgiving light of my “vision.” I used our tag-line like a bible, and punished him for not trying to overachieve with me.

The moral of the story, and a hard lesson for me: If you do see the need to put labels on everything, try letting the other person write with their own Sharpie.

Serenity Hart
embraceyournakedness.com


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