Heartbreak Journal

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Heartbreak

He’s an asshole, he’s a bastard, and I hate him! How could he do this to me? I’m not good enough for him? Apparently I’m NOT good enough for him otherwise he would never have been fucking my best friend for the last two months. How fucking clichéd! And it’s not even like I can talk to anybody about this, let alone my best friend. I guess that’s why journals come in handy. You can rant on and on and your journal is never judgemental.

I am so fucking angry. He told me about it last night and said it was over between us, I cried all night got no sleep at all after that and then I had to go to work today and pretend to be happy and calm when I am anything but. Lucky my boss is an understanding woman. She managed to get the story out of me because she could see I wasn’t myself today so I told her everything. I think she really felt sorry for me because she invited me to her house for a drink later tonight to try and cheer me up, which is kind of sweet. She’s such a nice lady.

Heartbroken Girl

God, I feel like shit. I feel lower than shit. Fifteen months together, I thought things were going great and that he really loved me and then this. I’ve lost my boyfriend and I’ve lost my best friend. I’m sure they’re together right now, laughing at me and fucking each other’s brains out just like they had been doing behind my back for the last two months.

I can’t even cry anymore, I don’t have any tears left. I’m drained and exhausted. I should probably take some time off work to deal with this and give myself a break. I’ll let the boss lady know tonight when I go to her house. I’m sure she’ll let me have a few days off. I’d better go, she’s expecting me over in half an hour. Maybe I’ll get really drunk to kill some of the pain. It’s Saturday afternoon and work is over for the week, I don’t have to work tomorrow, yeah I’ll get blind drunk. Great idea.